The Adventure of Tim


His gun (he has a license)
His cell phone (at 87%)
And his dignity (or what’s left of it)


A pocket hydrogen bomb, a detonator, and a potato.


Fire/blast proof armor
A pocket knife
And a box full of hot and steamy hot pockets




After Tim arrives with his potato, his hot pockets, and his dignity, they tell him to remove his potato and step inside of a machine. What does this machine do to him?




Thanks Mhead, but I’ve got this one. Tim takes the following, a suspicious potato, shreds of dignity, and hot pockets with him to the store. A creepy woman looks at him and smiles when he walks in.

Creepy Woman: H-h-heyy, customerrrr

Tim is creeped out but responds by _________


Doing a flip to show that hes an absolute madman


I think we all know what this says:

WaNt A sPrItE cRaNbErRy?


Tim is creeped out, but responds in fear from both his days as a totally real gymnast and mascot for sprite and says W-w- Want a Sprite Cranberry?!?! He then proceeds to spill all the Sprite on the floor. The Creepy woman looks down, and slowly brings her head up and looks at Tim.

Creepy Woman: Well well, look at what you’ve done. No I’m serious, why did you do that, go clean it up.

Tim’s not too happy with having to clean up his own messes, since his good ol Roomba usually did the trick for him; but, abiding by the laws of human decency, he goes to clean it up.

When he begins to clean it up, he ____________


He licks the sprite off the floor


Slips on the sprite cranberry and accidentally crashes (and breaks) the containment unit for Tide Pods (and subsequently an alarm goes off)


And then the tide pods infect his ______ and he _______.


Raidmaster didnt respond but ill reply anyway

It infects his potato that he brought along and then said potato proceeds to release an army of chungas


While Tim tries to lick up the Sprite Cranberry with the woman judging kicking him out or keeping him around, he slips and falls onto the woman’s secret stash of tide pods and accidentally has one slip into his pocket. At first, Tim is fine, but SUPER SPOOKILY AND SUDDENLY, it infects the Potato with tide podi-ness.
Naturally, this sucks.

The creepy woman is weighing her options of kicking him out or not, by Tim just might have a chance.

Question: How does Tim get out of this one?

Note: Tim has converted his Potato into a Potideo


He gets the hot and steamy hot pockets and chucks em at the creepy womans face, ultimately burning her face


Since I’m on, I’ll reply.

Tim weighs his options, he wants those instruments, but he’s only got one idea in his mind and nothing else. He THROWS the hottest of hot pockets the new pepper jack pepperoni flavor and the woman is melted into dust. Tim breathes a sigh of relief until realizing he just killed someone, and this shop is (drumroll please) near a donut shop filled with cops! Tim has 3 actions to save himself.

Question: What does Tim do?


He cleans up the evidence and proceeds into the next room, trying hard not to act suspiciously


Tim begins to whistle a Beatles song, gets a broom and dustpan, and proceeds to brush the old lady’s ashes into the dustpan and then into the trash.


He puts time bombs around the doughnut shop, set to explode after he is done cleaning up the lady. And all of those time bombs are powered by Tim’s tide-podified potato.